The first day at day care is looming and it is a scary and challenging prospect for mom and provider alike. But, never fear, I have compiled the First Day Survival Guide for all concerned.

This is a team effort with Mom laying the groundwork by gently preparing the child with talk of how much fun day care will be. The provider can be suggesting role playing at home, perhaps providing mom with names of kids and carers to facilitate that familiarization.

Mom should try to foster independence in the weeks preceding with visits to friends and providing activities the child will encounter at the day care and providers should be sure to encourage mom and child to visit the day care a couple of times before starting in order to allow the child to absorb the environment.

Mom should be sure to have everything packed for the day e.g. snacks, change of clothes, comfort toys and ensure everything is labeled. Be sure and have monies paid and forms completed before the big day so you are not distracted by these tasks. Have lots of time to get ready the morning of the big day with a good breakfast and some talk about the great adventure ahead. Carers should have an extra person on hand when a new child is starting so that one person can focus on distracting and comforting the new child. It is also advisable to have the child start at a time when everyone is settled into their morning activities. I wouldn't recommend first thing in the morning when the flurry of activity could be upsetting for the new child.

Providers, insist that parents walk their child from the car to the door. Mom, allow your child to pack his own bag. When you get to the day care do not carry him, this will just make the separation all the harder. Hold his hand and walk him to the door.

Providers, your settling in routines are vital and it is crucial you allow mom to be there but not be there. Let the child move at his own pace - be it observing quietly or playing alone. Provide one on one support and be ready when mom leaves to whoosh him away and providing lots of distraction with toys and activities.

Settling in is the time for mom to be there but not be there... Mom should be in the background providing fairly silent support. Allow your child to absorb his new surroundings. Gauge his reactions by stepping out of the room momentarily, explain that you are making a phone call and are just in the hall. Eventually, you will sit in your car or get a coffee as your child settles down. When that time comes say, bye mom will see you later, positively with a quick kiss and leave the room. If your child cries do not look back. They will be distracted and will stop crying shortly.

Parents and providers should work together from the very beginning. This communication and consistency will ensure a happy and smooth transition for the child. Now, providers can enjoy their new little character and moms can enjoy a few hours of me time!!